I think that I'm crazy, Mad,,, I don't know what to name it.... but now I know that I forgot the meaning of happiness, luck,, smile,,, many things..... The last thing that I remember is that I'm sick,, At first I was shocked,,, well,,, It's been a long time that I waiting for that sickness,, I wanted it! But when it came, I saw that now people love me more,,, It's not good, it's suffering,, because every time that I see a kindness I know that it's because of my sickness,,, I use to forget everything,,, At first I thought that it might be because of several things, like joint and so on,,, But now I know that it's because of my sickness,,,, All days, I have fucking headaches,,, even my Mind, my brain,,, my thought suffer from pain,,,, a mental pain,,,, I know that I'm tooooo depress,,, nothing can bring real smile on my face,,,, And I know that some day I will kill my self,,, I'm sure,,, I don't know the exact time,,, but I will,,,, everyday,,anything that happen,,, I become more and more sure about dying soon,,,, I know that you didn't believe me when I said this,,, but I was true....... I feel fucking bad.... as usual....